Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
