i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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