I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
