He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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