Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We are all done wearing pants today
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