I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
