My room smells like vodka and shame
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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