Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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