Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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