watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
