she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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