she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
