oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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