Kiss
Puke
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
