He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
