Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
