I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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