She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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