I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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