things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
