Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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