I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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