I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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