I'm really into asian looking animals
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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