What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
