TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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