I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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