So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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