he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
