hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
