I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
