they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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