yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
