when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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