i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
