I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
