You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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