can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Someone signed my nipple.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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