I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
