Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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