Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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