If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
