oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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