Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
