Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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