I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
