So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
false alarm, still single
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
