Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Randomize
