SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
