I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
