My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
