Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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