part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
