And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
