the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
