The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
