Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
