if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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