You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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