i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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